The Start of Something New

The moment before I found out I was pregnant was one of the happiest times of my life. I had just gone for drinks to my mother-in-laws restaurant with Dino's (my husbands) Aunt Donatella and they had surprised me with an amazing present....my first Gucci Handbag! I was so excited I rushed to Dino's restaurant to show off my new prize. I was so excited my life was finally complete! I was so excited in fact that I didn't realize -- something in my life was missing.....

Well that something was HUGE! As I drove home that night I realized what was missing -- "Aunt Flo" my monthly guest had just not shown up! Not the least bit concerned, however taking some precaution, I called my one of my best friends Blair and made her stay on the phone with me as I bought the big test. I had taken many "tests" since Dino and I had gotten married always being careful. Every time millions of thoughts ran through my brain, what if its positive? what would we do? are we ready for this? This time was different, none of those thoughts crossed my mind. I almost even considered myself crazy for taking the test, until that second line appeared. It was very light blue. So light in fact I wondered if it was my eyes playing tricks on me, yes that had to be it, where did I put my glasses anyway? Why wasn't the blue line going away? Since I had bought a box of three pregnancy tests (two that read with a line, and one digital) I decided to take the second "line" test. This time the line was a little brighter! These crazy sticks what was going on! I noticed my face heat up and heart began pumping a little faster than it had before I started the tests. The only way to make sure I had not bought a faulty box of tests, was to take the digital...on the third test before I had even finished peeing it ready quite clearly PREGNANT. It was like God sending a message, "Rachael, I was serious the first time, your preggo." I cried and cried and not because I was happy, but because I was terrified! My life was never going to be the same again! I called my Nana and Cousin Jerica and made them swear they wouldn't tell a soul. Then I woke up at 2 a.m. to tell my husband. He was so excited and I just couldn't understand why. Didn't he understand what this meant. I was going to be fat, moody, and No more just Rachael and Dino. We had just gotten married 8 months before this was too soon! His smile was huge -- he was obviously proud of his accomplishment.

Although my opinions since the day I found out I was pregnant have changed, I can't lie to you and tell you I'm always excited. Its hard to be excited when (1) you are hardly ever awake and (2) most of the time when you are you feel like crap. My friend Athena made the suggestion that I should keep a journal. This way my baby would know exactly how I felt. I realized that most of what I was feeling was a little PG-13 Rated and didn't know if I wanted "it" to know all of that yet. So instead my mom gave me the idea to blog.

So here it is, the begining of my adventure....