Ring the alarm

Before I found out I was pregnant, I had scheduled a gyno appointment to get back on birth control. As you can imagine that appointment was no longer needed and they re-scheduled me for December 23rd. This gave Dino and I the idea to wait until the holiday to tell our families and to make sure the first appointment went well. 

The morning of December 23rd I was a nervous wreck. We sat in the waiting room for almost 45 minutes (thinking they forgot us) until we finally went back. We do all the usually checks: weight, pulse, blood pressure, and were finally motioned to a room with a Ultrasound machine and a gown. "Take it all off," says the nurse in her very strong accent that I couldn't place. I undressed quickly and kept telling myself all the bad news I might get. I didn't want Dino or myself to get our hopes up only to be dissapointed later. Finally the Dr. came in.

 Because I was only 8 weeks and the baby was so small, the doctor decided to do a vaginal sonogram. This is where they put this little machine inside you and the the sonogram from inside rather than on your belly.  This was very uncomfortable exspecially with your husband of only 10 months standing over your shoulder with a smile that went from ear to ear. The doctor could not even find my uterus because my bladder was so full from anxiety. I threw on my jeans and shirt and ran down the hall to the bathroom. While emptying my bladder pants around my ankles, I hear, "CODE RED, CODE RED, PLEASE EXIT THE BUILDING IMMEDIATLEY!!" I ran back to my room where my doctor and Dino waited with the news that our hospital was on fire, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? JUST MY LUCK. 

I walked down 7 flights of stairs with no underwear or bra only to be told it was a false alarm. While waiting 15 minutes to get back on the elevator and wondering if this day could get any worse, when standing across from me was my doctor. The same doctor that moments earlier had been staring and analyzing my crotch! Okay so maybe she wasn't analyzing it, but she was a lot closer to it than I let everyone else! All I could think about was how this doctor was probably looking at me thinking, "I hate my job. I have to go back up there and deal with this woman and her crotch again." (After I told my mom this story she assured me this woman probably was not thinking this considering her job.) 

As we finally got settled back in our room, the doctor came in, and the sonogram began. Moments later we saw Baby T's heartbeat and the baby all snuggled up. The picture was very fuzzy and you really couldn't see anything that resembled a baby, but I knew it was my baby. It was one of the most precious things I have ever seen and will never forget it. 

The Start of Something New

The moment before I found out I was pregnant was one of the happiest times of my life. I had just gone for drinks to my mother-in-laws restaurant with Dino's (my husbands) Aunt Donatella and they had surprised me with an amazing present....my first Gucci Handbag! I was so excited I rushed to Dino's restaurant to show off my new prize. I was so excited my life was finally complete! I was so excited in fact that I didn't realize -- something in my life was missing.....

Well that something was HUGE! As I drove home that night I realized what was missing -- "Aunt Flo" my monthly guest had just not shown up! Not the least bit concerned, however taking some precaution, I called my one of my best friends Blair and made her stay on the phone with me as I bought the big test. I had taken many "tests" since Dino and I had gotten married always being careful. Every time millions of thoughts ran through my brain, what if its positive? what would we do? are we ready for this? This time was different, none of those thoughts crossed my mind. I almost even considered myself crazy for taking the test, until that second line appeared. It was very light blue. So light in fact I wondered if it was my eyes playing tricks on me, yes that had to be it, where did I put my glasses anyway? Why wasn't the blue line going away? Since I had bought a box of three pregnancy tests (two that read with a line, and one digital) I decided to take the second "line" test. This time the line was a little brighter! These crazy sticks what was going on! I noticed my face heat up and heart began pumping a little faster than it had before I started the tests. The only way to make sure I had not bought a faulty box of tests, was to take the digital...on the third test before I had even finished peeing it ready quite clearly PREGNANT. It was like God sending a message, "Rachael, I was serious the first time, your preggo." I cried and cried and not because I was happy, but because I was terrified! My life was never going to be the same again! I called my Nana and Cousin Jerica and made them swear they wouldn't tell a soul. Then I woke up at 2 a.m. to tell my husband. He was so excited and I just couldn't understand why. Didn't he understand what this meant. I was going to be fat, moody, and No more just Rachael and Dino. We had just gotten married 8 months before this was too soon! His smile was huge -- he was obviously proud of his accomplishment.

Although my opinions since the day I found out I was pregnant have changed, I can't lie to you and tell you I'm always excited. Its hard to be excited when (1) you are hardly ever awake and (2) most of the time when you are you feel like crap. My friend Athena made the suggestion that I should keep a journal. This way my baby would know exactly how I felt. I realized that most of what I was feeling was a little PG-13 Rated and didn't know if I wanted "it" to know all of that yet. So instead my mom gave me the idea to blog.

So here it is, the begining of my adventure....